So Fiesta is an awesome time to be in San Antonio. Last year I was there for Fiesta, and enjoyed the music, the parades, the cervezas, the medals, the whole enchilada, if you will.
This year Fiesta rolled around, and I was headed to San Antonio again, but one week too late. Sad face. Oh well, no problem, there’s never a bad time to go to San Antonio right? The River Walk is always fun, great food, stiff margaritas, people watching, it’s a trifecta of fun.
I’ve been to San Antonio for business and pleasure several times, but this time was my first time staying at the Westin La Canterra, a AAA Four Diamond resort, ♢♢♢♢ (<- four diamonds), so I knew I was staying someplace pretty nice, but I couldn't mentally place it in town. There's a good reason for that.
When you leave the San Antonio International Airport, SAT, and head towards town you come to a split in the highway with directional signs pointing left to San Antonio, and right to El Paso. El Paso? El Paso is 555 miles away from San Antonio! As my cab approached this fork in the road, and we subsequently went to the right, I could feel myself sink into the taxi seats' cracked faux-leather. We were heading away from town. My thought process ran like this: 'La Canterra is a golf resort so we're going to be on the outskirts of the city; no riverwalk; no margaritas; no people watching; no fun.'
Rooftops and Texas Hill Country
My idea of golf is Frisbee Golf, and sadly La Canterra does not support this activity.
Oh well, at least it’s a really lush hotel. My room overlooked the patio, complete with ponds, waterfalls, etc. On my first night there, it was also full of loud, drunken securities brokers, at least one of whom was doing an impression of Tarzan being raped by a water buffalo. This went on for over an hour, (note to self, water buffalo have incredible stamina). At 2:00 am, I’d heard all the water buffalo raping noises I could stand so I called the front desk. Here is the actual transcript from that call.
Clerk: “Front Desk, Ramon speaking, how may I assist you?”
Me: “Yes, hello, there’s a water buffalo raping a Tarzan impersonator on the patio.
Clerk: “On the patio you say?”
Me: “Yes, the patio. I can hear them right now!”
Clerk: “I’ll send security right away.”
Me: “Better tell them to bring their elephant guns and tranquilizer darts.”
Clerk: “Of course. Will there be anything else I can do for you?”
Me: “That’s all, thank you.”
The Scene of the Crime
A brief while later I heard the unmistakable “cough” of tranquilizer darts fired through elephant rifles. The first shot apparently went into Tarzan and the second into the water buffalo. The rest of the animals, mostly laughing hyenas, scattered at that point, and I was just two shots of Jameson and a Xanax away from slumber.
One thing about La Canterra, as you can no doubt tell from the transcript above, is that the service is impeccable. I tried pecking it on several occasions but was consistently rebuffed. Everyone from banquet set up captains, to desk clerks, to the guys racking the chairs, was polite, and courteous, and even helpful. I work in a lot of hotels all over the country and let me tell you, that is not the standard. These folks are tops in my book.
The Lobby Area - (Water Buffalo Not Shown)
The Fishing Sucks Here
Bottom line, if you’re going to San Antonio for Fiesta, or just to enjoy the river walk, stay somewhere in town. If you’re looking for a luxe hotel with fancy golf course in the middle of Texas, than by all means let me suggest the Westin La Canterra.
In any event, you can look for me, on your next flight home!
